Author Topic: Best listing for a Stinger - ever.  (Read 4730 times)


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Best listing for a Stinger - ever.
« on: May 27, 2012, 04:57:49 pm »
I came across the following listing for a 202 while looking for Stingers - I've reposted in full because I thought it was quite funny:

OK, if you've been lurking around CL you've seen this boat before, but you won't see it again. This time it is going. Here's the deal:

On Saturday, May 26th, the price is $2250.
On Sunday, May 27th the price drops to $2200
On Monday, May 28th the price drops to $2150.

$50 per day price drop, every day, until it leaves my yard and my wife gets off my ass. And i am really burned out at work, and i'd love to take your calls and talk about the boat, but i am really burned out at work and i just can't do it. So i'm going to list all the questions I have been asked over the last seven weeks, and the answers, and if the information you need to make your decision isn't included, well that's too bad, I can't help you.

1. Does it run?

No, but it's close. The deal is i've owned it forever, i burned a piston about eight years ago, i rebuilt the engine with new heads, pistons, rings, bearings etc, and ran out of gas. and interest. and time. So the rebuilt motor sat in the garage for eight years. It was oiled up good, turned it over by hand every six months or so, and i kept telling myself that i gotta get that motor back in the boat. So this spring I got off my ass, found all the bits and pieces, and put the engine and outdrive back on the boat. And then i started working 12 hour days for my job and ran out of steam. and interest. and time. And my wife is going on about "You said that boat would be out of the side yard this year. You promised!" like over and over and over. And i love her, and she's right, the boat has to go. But to answer your question, no, the boat doesn't run.

2. What does it need to make it run? I'm not sure exactly, but in the words of one of the many ex-bosses who haunt me in my dreams "There are things that I know that I can tell you. There are things that I know that I can't tell you. And there are things that I don't know, and we are free to discuss them." No shit, he said that. Like all the time. These are the things that i know:

a. The gas is in the tank is ten years old. Gas is a volatile liquid. Just like water vapor comes off a body of water, very light hydrocarbon compounds come off of gasoline. These are really good compounds from the standpoint of making your engine run. In this engine the gasoline is "atomized" (god i love that word. once i heard it in auto mech i was converted. motor head for life). So what this means is that all of the really good hydrocarbons, the light, vaporish, energetic compounds, well they're gone. All of the heavier more sluggish hydrocarbons, they are still there waiting for that golden oxygen molecule, but you know what? All that shit gas needs to get pumped out of the tank and properly disposed of, and that's like a pain in the ass.

b. You will need to dick around with it. If you've ever done this shit, you know what i mean. It's got electronic ignition, and all that stuff is sealed in epoxy, so that is probably good. The alternator and starter worked, but who knows? I took the carb apart and changed all the gaskets, it was clean. Probably ought to replace the fuel pump, i'd convert to an electric pump.

c. The raise /lower hydraulic unit was getting cranky right near the end, like intermittent. It's a self contained unit, could be electrical, could be in the pump, i don't know.

d. The manifolds are old and should be replaced. The reason I burned the piston was that there was corrosion in the heads and that restricted the coolant flow and made the heads run hot, pre-ignition, hole in piston, boat in the side of the yard, wife unhappy. If the heads had that much corrosion the exhaust manifolds can't be any good either.

e. The linkage to the outdrive is funky, something isn't right. As far as I know the outdrive is in excellent condition with around 300 hours on it.

2. How's the hull?

The hull is excellent, really. whatever value exists in this boat is in the hull. i don't know which of the many chris craft private equity owners were dicking with company while a bunch of boat builders and engineers and offshore racers were desperately trying to recreate the mystique of the old mahogany runabouts, but these guys got it right. There are good chris crafts, there are bad chris crafts, the stingers are good chris crafts. i've buried the front two thirds of the boat in the water at 40 mph and it came out like a dolphin. messed me up, but the hull design and strength is excellent. never been painted, couple of chips in the gelcoat, no stress cracks.

3. How fast does it go?

45 to 50 mph with the prop it has, could get another couple of mph with a stainless prop.

4. Can you fish off the boat?

Surprisingly, yes. I fished a lot off of this boat. If you are trolling for rockfish you have to drag two buckets behind the boat to slow it down enough you get some depth, but i did catch a lot of fish in this boat. really cramped for space in the cockpit so you can't have a big cooler or anything like that, but you can get by.

5. Can you get laid in the boat?

Well, that depends on your definition of getting laid. if your definition includes two individuals reclined in relative comfort, well no, you cannot get laid in this boat. If someone is willing to remain standing, there are a variety of ways in which you can have sex on this boat.

6. Is it converted for the gas with alcohol in it?

No, it is not. However, the tank is either stainless steel or aluminum, so it is good to go. That leaves fuel pump, fuel lines, and carb. If it were me, i'd repace all the fuel lines, see if i couldn't install an electric fuel pump, and leave the carburetor.

7. Do you have a trailer for it?

yup, ezloader with a clean title. might ought to replace the tires before you go anywhere.

8. Will you deliver the boat to mobile alabama?

Hell no. I won't deliver this boat down the street. Get one of those gypsy jerrdans to get it where it needs to go.

8. How's the upholstery?

lets just say that it's functional and doesn't have any tears.

9. Will you take payments?

GMAFB. i know times are tough but i'm not a credit union.

OK, that's all the information you get. You see, this is like the perfect boat for some twisted motor head soul on a budget that thinks a 80's mini miami vice boat is really cool. you aren't going to be able to pull off the red eye, gold chains and breast implant girlfriend in this boat, it lacks abut eight feet, another motor, and through hull exhaust to reach that standard. You can get a really cool fast boat at a reasonable price. and even if it isn't you, i'll bet you know somebody who it is.

My name is Ralph. My number is 443-534-4209. All I want to hear is "I have two thousand two hundred and fifty dollars in cash in my hand and I want to buy your boat!" If you aren't saying those words i am hanging up. and tomorrow you say " I have two thousand two hundred dollars in my hand and I want to buy your boat" and so on until the boat leaves my side yard and my wife is happy and a crepe myrtle is planted in the side yard to prevent any such thing from ever happening again.

viper gts

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Re: Best listing for a Stinger - ever.
« Reply #1 on: May 29, 2012, 03:32:57 pm »
Thats pretty funny!


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Re: Best listing for a Stinger - ever.
« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2012, 06:45:58 am »
Wonder if it sold?


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Re: Best listing for a Stinger - ever.
« Reply #3 on: June 03, 2012, 09:58:07 pm »


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Re: Best listing for a Stinger - ever.
« Reply #4 on: June 10, 2012, 01:20:38 pm »
The best. Refreshing to read an honest forthright for sale ad. I would buy just based on his written words, except I am in the "needs another eight feet, another motor..." part.  Then again, I have no boat, except for my landyacht that won't sell...thanks for sharing..